Well another appointment down, another appointment made.
It seems my stress level is showing itself in my follicles stagnant growth thus far... We went in expecting to see bigger follicles and saw no growth... The topic of discussion at my appointment was my stress.
I have been very stressed the last couple of months and the fact that I am actually seeing its physical affects on the ultrasound screen really bothers me.
It is not much of a secret to those that know me that I am not a fan of my job... I do it for the paycheck and always hold hope that I will discover a career along the way that sparks my interest... It is also a known fact that my job is stressful, dealing with millions of dollars of other people's money day in and day out wears on your nerves. It doesn't help that this month marks our busiest most stressful time of year... for many December means holiday fun... for me it means pull my hair out and get through the piles of work that must be processed to the penny when moving amounts in the millions. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised my body is showing the toll it takes when Im stressing out... It's not just waking up with a sore jaw from gritting my teeth all night it's messing with my cycle.
My girl is very understanding and even thinks that I am putting an expectation for my body to perform which adds to the stress I am putting on myself, not to mention the stress from planning a move and the stress from living in small quarters...
She also thinks its ironic that my job is my biggest stresser but it is also my insurance that is making this affordable for us to even try... She is right it's my double edged sword.
So my perscription for the weekend is to have fun. We have another appointment set to do an ultrasound to check on my eggs Monday afternoon. Hopefully we will see some progress, if not we may be trying clomid next month to get my cycle on a schedule as it appears it may be veering off to irregularity thanks to stress.
In the words of my brother... I am a sad panda today, I can't help but feel responsible for not doing a better job at being stress free.