Thursday, March 31, 2011
We have some friends who just had triplets at 26 weeks and they are going to be in the NICU for the next couple months at the least. They keep coming up in my mind, how they must be feeling, what challenges they will face and what can I do to help...
The truth is we don't know them that well, I consider them new friends, which I have a few of these days since we have only been in Indiana a little over a year. It takes me a while to crack open to new people anyway and meeting for a lunch once or twice is hardly the basis of a strong friendship...It is a start of one and that is where we are at the start. We have some things in common the big one which the straight world may consider common ground is they are gay and married too... They too have chosen to raise a child in an unconventional family. I think of my friends and all we have in common and I can think of a lot more... but that is why we are at the start of our friendship...
Well now we have NICU in common, the circumstances are nothing the same. Maggie was no preemie she was quite the opposite, she had a very bad case of meconium aspiration and pulmonary hypertension. The challenges their babies have to face are going to be different than what Maggie had to overcome.
Regardless of the difference I feel like they are feeling a lot of what Seana and I felt. They didn't get the easy pregnancy or the easy beginning... And that is very frustrating. I remember thinking how unfair it was that our baby couldn't just go home with us and that her birth wasn't all rainbows and smiles. It was fraught with worry, concern, and fear, every moment I was just happy she was alive... she was still alive. I also remember before I got to see her once she was transferred to Riley that part of me didn't want to see her. I wanted to convince myself that not seeing her would make it hurt less if she didn't make it. Well that very thought is what made me realize that I already was so in love with her that regardless of whether I saw her or not it was going to hurt and if I didn't see her it would also be the biggest regret of my life.
Seeing our baby so helpless and so frail did hurt but watching her improve from one day to the next was worth going there everyday. I couldn't believe how much I felt for her and I just wanted to be near her, with her, supporting her as she got better. Everyday held its own challenges and it was a difficult road but the truth is since she was our first, we didn't know any other reality.
I know with Kelly and Kristen they had anticipated a NICU stay, but no one anticipated it starting this soon. They have a lot of challenges ahead, Being in the NICU you get your own set of milestones to go by. Knowing what I felt, I think they may be enduring triple the worry, triple the concern and triple the fear. And my thoughts have been going back to them quite a bit, every thought of them I send a little prayer. I pray for comfort and strength and I pray for little wins and that their next milestone is right around the corner. Most of all I pray they find joy in their own situation. They do have so much to be joyful for and every passing moment is a celebration.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Yup that's right ... Maggie has learned how to grab objects and slam them on the table. Up next - I am totally buying her some musical instruments to pound on.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Over my 32 years I have had a few to say the least...
First are the variations of Melissa~ Missy~Mel~Lissa~Lissy
Then there is my Sister status~Sissy
Then there is my School Days~Spud~Spudnic (not sure how it was derived but this was Marvin James' fault when we had some Math class together when I was a freshman he started calling me Spud... which turned into Spudnic by Brucie)
Then there are the names Seana calls me (MJ and Chompers)
And now I get MOM and MOMMY!!! (which isn't really a nickname persay but I really love being able to say I get the honor of being called it!)
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Mostly because I am so tired from last night. Maggie tossed and turned... She just couldn't get comfortable and kept moving in and out of sleep all the while letting us know about it. I actually can't tell you how many times I got up with her last night. I didn't pull Maggie into our bed I would snuggle her, cuddle her, nurse her and once she fell asleep I would place her back in her crib... only to be awoken not even an hour later by unhappy whimpers... By 630 AM it was time to break the rules... into the bed next to me goes Maggie... And it didn't last long we were up by 730 starting our day... someone was just done with sleep.
The morning didn't fair any better, I assumed it was because she was tired and got her to nap on my lap (another broken rule)... then I noticed the drool.
The thought came to me seeing the drool, but I chose to disregard it, we have been wrong so many times before. So when Maggie woke up she was still crabby, I fed her and tried to play with her she was interested but fussy.
So I decided to take a gander.... This is a difficult task, how often do you actually try to look at your baby's gums... uhhh she kept pulling away and pushing my fingers out of her mouth....The opposite of what she usually does with my fingers...
Finally got a peek, and her lower front gums are red and puffy and when you touch her gums you can feel a tooth coming in on her left side... SHE IS TEETHING! Confirming this at least gave me some options....
Option 1. Something Cold to chew on
Option 2 Children's Tylenol
I went with option 2 as none of our teething rings were cold and I didn't want to deal with a wet baby if I gave her a wet washcloth. Option 2 worked!
She actually fell back asleep in my arms and slept from 230 or so until almost 5! A much needed nap for her... I should have napped too but couldn't seem to accomplish it.
Monday, March 21, 2011
So last night we threw the whole cry-it-out method out the window. We got back from friends at midnight and Melissa decided to snuggle and get Maggie to sleep the way she likes and Maggie slept until 6am - she then woke up and then fell back asleep until 8am. No fighting with her, no listening to her cry. It was wonderful.
Today we had Maggie all over town and she missed some of her naps (or they were cut short). So it was no surprise that Miss Maggie was crabby by 8. Melissa took her up to put her to bed and as par for the last four days, Maggie began to cry. I was down stairs on the phone while Melissa was left to do the dirty work of letting her cry-it-out. After I got off the phone, I could hear Maggie crying and I figured MJ could probably use some support and a break, so I went upstairs. Maggie was frantically crying and coughing from being so upset and although I know we are trying to let her CIO, I picked her up anyway. Maggie was full of air from crying so hard. After that, Melissa and I talked about what our goals were and she mentioned her concern that by being “wishy washy” we are probably making it worse. Maggie may be learning to cry louder since her first cries “aren’t working”
At this point, I confessed that I don’t really agree with the cry it out method and it turns out, neither does MJ. We both agreed we are doing too many things to her at once. We are trying to get her to sleep in her crib, fix her bedtime and self soothe. In addition, I just can't help but feel like I am sending the wrong signal to Maggie. I have no doubt that the CIO method works. I have no doubt that Maggie is crying because she wants to be comforted by us. But I just keep thinking "What am I really teaching Maggie when I let her cry for 2+ hours? Am I teaching her to self soothe? or am I teaching her that she can no longer rely on us to comfort her at night? She is only 6 months old. She isn't even weaned and I am expecting her to self soothe??? That makes no sense to me. In addition, Maggie is too young to want to be independent. If she had her way, we would be with her 24/7. And I can’t blame her.
Thankfully, Melissa agreed with and had similar feelings about the cry it out method. So together we decided to focus on just getting Maggie to sleep in her crib and to get her bedtime back to 8:30pm. Once we decided that CIO was shelved- MJ snuggled Maggie up and Maggie was out like a light and slept in her crib until 1am when she lost her paci. MJ corrected the situation and Maggie was out again until. 3am for some food. She slept in her crib all night and when I left this morning, she was still asleep.
I am sure we will have to try this again later, but right now when Maggie cries – we are picking her up.
Friday, March 18, 2011
WIN - MJ got Maggie to nap in her crib instead of on your bed yesterday
WIN - Maggie went to bed at 8:30pm
Frustration - Maggie started crying at 9:15 and didn't stop so we had to pick her up. I finally took her at 10:30 - midnight downstairs because she was no longer tired from a "power nap" and instead wanted to play
Half Win - Maggie fell quickly asleep at 12am without fussing ... but she fell asleep in our bed tucked up with MJ
Half Win - Maggie woke up at 3, MJ fed her and got her back a sleep in her crib
Up for grabs - Maggie was up by 7:30am. But at least happy.
So tally that up and I think we still made good progress.
What I have decided
1. If Maggie is hurt (tummy with air), not tired, or is hungry, she will cry non stop. No ammount of self soothing is going to help her feel better. And I think it is fine to comfort and fix those issues. She is only 6 months so I doubt she can put together "if I cry longer, I will get my way".
2. If she is just fussing, it is fine to let her fuss in her crib.
3. We are trying to tackle two things - her bed time, and her sleeping by herself. So I will consider it a win no matter when she goes to bed if she sleeps by herself. And I will consider it a win is she goes to bed by 8:30 first by soothing assistance if she can then be transitioned to her crib.
4. I really can't blame her for prefering to sleep snuggled with MJ. I too prefer to sleep that way.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
We have been traveling a lot lately and MJ breast feeds so it really have been very simple to just plop Maggie in bed with us (who knew a Queen bed could feel so small). For me, I am not the one who gets up at every Maggie whimper at night. MJ has always made sure I get sleep so I can be productive at work (which is where I am right now .... does blogging count as work productive?)So I have always felt that bedtime routines would be decided by MJ with me supporting.
Well lately MJ and I have discovered that our bed has been taken over by one cute, and sprawled out little girl and neither one of us is sleeping the best. Plus our little trooper hasn't slept through the night yet.... and it seems like the rest of the world has. Maggie had a 6 month check up yesterday and the Dr. gave us some suggestions to help Maggie feel safe to fall asleep, stay asleep and sleep in her crib. (Surprisingly giving her Bourbon in a bottle was not on the list) Last night ..... we stared the sleep battle.
We tried once... and I do mean once... to let Maggie "cry it out". After 30 minutes Maggie was hysterical, MJ and I were crying and I swore I would never do that again. So last night Maggie went to bed at 10pm (which is a huge improvement over 12:30 or 1am which is what she has been doing). At 3 am she woke up for a snack. At 4 am she woke up again. MJ gave her some pats and her paci back and let Maggie fuss. I can honestly say (because MJ is totally in tune with Maggie) that this was the first time Maggie has fussed more than a few minutes.
She went from fussing to freaking out so MJ picked her up and let her have another snack. And then put her back in the crib. Over the next 30 minutes Maggie would fuss, fall asleep, wake up, fuss, fall asleep, wake up, lather, rinse and repeat. Finally at like 4:50 she fell asleep ..... only to bonk her head on the side of the crib and wake up crying again. Over the next 40 minutes we would comfort her, rub her back etc etc but let her fuss. And finally FINALLY at 5:45 she fell asleep on her own.
By this point I had showered and was ready for work. MJ crawled back to bed, I headed out. Things were great. Then I started driving to work and I felt terrible. My poor girl was whimpering for 1:45 minutes on and off. I wanted to run home and hug her and tell her how sorry I was to ever even let her cry. I guess this just shows that I am indeed a mom. I know what we did was no big deal because she never got that upset. It is just funny to me how I never even want Maggie to be sad - not for one minute.
So where do we go from here? I figure it will take a couple of weeks to get her on a new schedule and sleeping in her own bed. Wish us luck
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
It is hard to believe but Maggie is 6 Months old today!
You usually wake up around 930 am, you are almost always happy first thing in the morning and content to just lay or sit in bed and chat. Once up we head downstairs to change your diaper then play in your exersaucer and watch your "Your Baby Can Read" video then a "Baby Einstein" video while Mommy eats and does chores. At about 1130 you take your morning nap in Mommy and Mutti's bed. This nap is usually only about 45 minutes or so and then you are up so we do another diaper change and then do some floor playing time and/or some flash cards if Mommy doesn't have more chores to do otherwise you play more in your exersaucer. If you get bored Mommy will wear you in your Snugli Carrier while she works on cleaning. You love to be in the carrier. At about 230 or 3 you take a long nap, sometimes Mommy can get you to sleep in your crib for this nap but most times you sleep in Mommy and Mutti's bed. You usually sleep until about 5 or so then you are up and ready to see Mutti! Mutti comes home from work and spends time with you until about 8 then Mutti has to do her homework so you come back to Mommy and we play or you decide you want to nap. You usually wake up around 9 or 930 and want to play until about 1130 or midnight then its off to bed!
You are breast fed the majority of the time. You usually eat during the day about every 3 or 4 hours most of the time right before your naps. At 5 months we introduced you to rice cereal mixed with breast milk you have this once a day in the evening. Ususally Mutti feeds you this. You had 2 colds during your 5th month and we chose to not give you rice cereal while you were sick; we also did some traveling and didn't give you rice cereal when out of town but we are getting back into the swing of it now that you are better and we are home. Today we are going to introduce your first true solid food the Avacado! Yum!
You and your sleep.... there was a time when you slept through the night... then you stopped. You would wake up every other hour and want food... This was a huge factor in starting you on rice cereal.. after a couple nights it actually seemed to work... Well except for the past few days... I blame all the travel and time change. You are being pretty fussy at night and have become quite the night owl! Mommy and Mutti are trying to get you to go to bed by 930 the latest but you aren't having it... You will take a nap around 830 or 9 and wake up bright eyed and ready to play at 930 or 10.
4 Months: Distinguishes between bold colors, Plays with her hands and feet, Rolls over in both directions.
5 Months: Imitates sounds like "baba" "dada", Recognizes own name, Turns toward new sounds, mouths objects, passes objects from hand to hand, Sits unassisted, has some stranger anxiety.
You love to laugh at the dogs, but your interest has swapped to other peoples dogs not so much our own. You smile and giggle at neck and side tickles. You really think it's funny when Mommy sings using only the syllables of DAH... and you think it is funny when Mommy sings Kesha's Blow song.... you know bloooOOWWW OWW OWW OWW OWW OWWWWW!
YOUR FAVORITE TOY:
You love your exersaucer and your "tamborine"
You have been wearing almost all 6-9 month clothes now since the first week of February. There are one or two items from 3-6 months that you can still fit into. We have discussed looking for Pajamas (with the feetsies) in 9-12 month because you have already outgrown the 6-9 pj we have for you,
At Birth it was a dark brown
At 6 Months you have dark brown ends with a strawberry like blonde roots! We have been asked if your hair was dyed... NO it has not.
At Birth....The first day we saw your eyes you were almost a week old, they looked dark bluish black.
At 6 Months they are a Grey Blue like Mommy's.
Birth: 9 lbs 8 oz (99th percentile), 21 1/2" long
3 Months: 14 lbs 3 oz (90th percentile), 24 3/4" long (97th percentile)
6 Months: 17lbs 12 oz (83rd percentile), 28 1/2" long (99th percentile)
Miss Maggie is TALL! When we were at her pediatrician appt the Dr said she is measuring in the 50th percentile of an 11 month old!! WOW! That explains why her PJs with feetsies don't fit!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
I LOVE MOVIES so this was hard to pair down.... So here are SOME of my favorites...
When I want to cry:
When I want to dream:
When I want to be inspired:
When I want to Sing:
When I am feeling Nostalgic:
When I want to laugh:
When I am ready for some Action:
I have one brother... We have been enemies, friends, roommates and siblings...
When we were kids he went by Derek (his middle name), but now he goes by Jack (his first name)... He is 2 years older than me but most people think he is my younger brother because I act more grown up. When we were kids we were sworn enemies unless we had an enemy in common that needed defeating then we would work together. Usually that enemy was our parents...
No matter where we go we always end up together. We have almost always lived in the same city. Even now we both live in Noblesville, IN. My brother and I don't always see eye to eye on things but I know that when it really counts he is always there for me. I hope he feels the same way.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I wanted to write a quick blog about what Maggie is currently doing.
1. She has started making mouth raspberries or "zerberts"
2. She has started to rub the back of her head when she gets tired
3. It's like she has a sense of humor. You can play with her and she will giggle.
4. She loves to face out and see things. She gets crabby when you try to face her towards you
5. She has started to have some social anxiety around strangers ... but after a few minutes she will warm up to people.
6. A new nickname has emerged - sweetie pea. It is a cross between sweet pea and sweetie pie. So far Pooh Bear and Captain are still winning in the nick names.
I think of my parents as the "All American" couple, they met in high school...My Mom was a cheerleader and my Dad was a star football player...and together they were prom king and queen... After graduation they broke up and went there separate ways but they loved each other too much and after 6 months of being separated they got engaged....They got married and are still together after 38 years.
My Mom and I have a close but turbulent relationship. Our family jokes that when we are together we have and expiration date, once that date is reached out come the claws and its a battle of the wills. The problem is we are a LOT a like and we both want to be in control but that doesn't change the fact that we love each other and enjoy each other most of the time! My Mom is wonderful at being a Mom she sacrifices for her family and protects her children to no end.
As for my Dad, well there is no question... I am a Daddy's girl.... and I don't mind being a Daddy's girl either! See my Dad is the embodiment of the Marlboro Man. Rough and Rugged and not one to mess with. Lucky for me, he has a soft spot and I am in it!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
That was so long ago... It was love at first sight. I had never seen anything so cute, I just wanted to cuddle her up. Her name was Lilly.
She was a 6 week old black and white kitten. My parents were kind enough to give her to me and it was the first pet I got to name that I can recall. One of the things I loved most about her was how she woud suckle my shirt. You read it right... She was weaned from her Momma too young so she would snuggle up in my arms and suck on my tshirt while I loved on her.
My time with her didn't last nearly as long as it should have. We lived in the country next to a highway so I lost many a loved pet by coyote or car. But I still feel warmth in my heart when I think about her. I will have to look and see if I have a picture of her to scan in.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Seana told me to figure out my rules to go by... and here we go.
For my lent, I will be giving up all sweets, all sodas and sweetened beverages. I am allowed to enjoy items that are naturally sweetened like fruit or fruit juice. I can use honey to sweeten food or drink items and the only sugar exception is a tablespoon of brown sugar with my oatmeal in the morning. My birthday falls during lent, so on the day I celebrate my birthday I am allowed to partake in dessert.
So that brings me to the events of today... I have made chocolate mint pudding to go with my grasshopper cookies and bag of twix, milkyway, 3 musketeers and snickers! I am going to top it off with a tasty Pepsi and a hot chocolate!
Mmmmm Mmmmm. My breastmilk will be extra sweet today!
15 Interesting Facts...
- I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up... I need to answer this question by the time Maggie goes to school but for now I am really enjoying being home with my daughter taking care of her is more rewarding than any job I have ever had!
- I feel the most accomplished if I start my day with a list and end it with every item scratched off.
- I day dream about winning the lottery... what I would buy, where we would travel.... but I almost never buy a ticket.
- I have a thing about using (...) in almost all my writing... it is what I use to string one thought to the next... see a period just won't do because Im not done with my thought so why should the sentence end... see I used it a lot just writing about the dot dot dot...
- Speaking of Dot Dot Dot... Mamma Mia, I love it, I love most musicals which goes well with Seana's recent obsession with broadway musical music... she keeps apologizing but I am enjoying it as much as she is... of course I hear her renditions of the musicals as she hums or sings them as she goes about her day... Which just don't compare to our made up songs that we sing to Maggie.... Titles like "I love Maggie and her Poo" are topping the Thornton-Hurd Charts.
- Every time I move somewhere I pick up a hobby that goes with living in that place... most times I end up not sticking with the hobby.... examples... I moved to Florida, I picked up surfing... I was just learning to stand up when they had all those shark attacks at the beach I had been learning to surf at... yup... New Smyrna... I even managed to get my own Close Call Shark Story... and I have steered clear of the Ocean shoreline ever since...then there was Colorado... I decided to pick up snowboarding... I even got all the gear and a season pass... I was starting to get it down but realized I spent most of the time freaked out about falling and then the rest of the time falling... I never really had a good time on the slopes... but I looked AWESOME with all the gear!
- I haven't smoked a cigarette since February of 2008! I am happy to be a non-smoker after smoking for 11 years! That was by far the HARDEST thing to quit... even now I still miss it sometimes even though the smell of it makes me gag.
- I want to be the next Karen Corr of Billiards minus the mullet and glasses.
- I love classical music... one of my favorites is the Moldau by Smetana..so beautiful... every time I hear it I can see the river winding through the country.
- I have an obvious soft spot for puppies!
- I love projects...especially art or craft projects. I am also great at starting projects...but not so great at finishing them.
- I feel the need... the need for speed! I grew up riding dirt bikes, four wheelers, snowmobiles and jet skis...and ooohweee I love to make them go and it has been far too long since I have had the pleasure!!
- I also feel the need to quote movies.
- I love to cook new things... and really love being in the kitchen.
- I love being a mom to Maggie, to me she is the most beautiful, intelligent, and talented baby around.
Monday, March 7, 2011
I say we because without MJ's support, I wouldn't be here. She has been amazing.I used to dream about how my life could be. I would imagine what it would be like to have a child and an amazing supportive wife - I can't believe that I have that in my life. And there are days that I still can't believe all MJ does for me and our family. For this trip, she helped me pack and made me a snack for the road. She takes the baby when I have to study. She keeps me going when I want to throw in the towel ... I really couldn't ask for more.
So with all MJ does for us, I wanted to remind myself why I am getting my MBA. There are really two main reasons.
1. I do enjoy learning. It is one of the things I feel I am good at - learning. I would probably be a professional student if I could be. It is a priviledge to have this opportunity to learn.
2. I want to continue to progress in my career so I can provide financially for my family. I want MJ to be able to continure to be a stay at home mom if she wants to. I want to be able to travel and give Maggie experiences. I want to be able to afford things like college for Maggie and retirement.
So I just wanted to say to my girls - thank you for making this process possible.
Here is the Challenge:
Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Favorite memory
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture
Wish me luck!