Monday, November 16, 2009

A Funeral and the Future

So Saturday I had the opportunity to attend a funeral for a friend of MJ's who died way too young at 28. I didn't know him, but it was an honor to watch his friends and family mourn his loss. As his father tried to make it through his speech, he broke down ... not just into tears, but he had to be helped off the stage. As he was being helped off, he yelled "I love you son!". My heart just broke and I couldn't help think of my cousin who died one year earlier to the day and of my own future with potential children.

I remember when I was a kid - like 8 or something - I asked a crazy question (as kids do) to my mom "If you had to save me or dad who would you save?" She said "You". When I asked why she said "because that is what your father would want." This never made any sense to me, but as I get close to having kids of my own I am starting to get it.

You have this fantasy when you are starting to think of having kids that they will be perfect. You will have all these great Christmases together. You will get to see them grow up, learn, get married, have kids and be happy. You never think .. my kid might kill himself at 28, or my kid might die of AIDS at 41.

So today MJ and I went in for round two of "Let's make a baby". This time was more painful for her, and as I sat by her side, I wished I could help with her pain. I started reflecting on the funeral, the speeches, my cousin .... and I realized that life really is all about the little things.

And for the little things like today's Dr. visit, MJ's smile, my mom's emails, warm tea, dogs that finally poop when you ask them to, .... I say 'Thank you God for all the little things. May I cherish them all."

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