If I could define my mood yesterday it would be cranky, unthankful and completely self centric. On a day that I was supposed to be thankful I did the opposite I took for granted those around me and was a moody hum bugger all day long.
I want to spew out a thousand excuses for my attitude but what good is an excuse. When I think about the origins of my mood, I think that my attempt to not get my hopes up this month took an ugly turn for vile pessimism.
I apologize that I lost my focus on what yesterday was, a day of Thanksgiving. Im mostly sorry for taking my frustration out on my girl, her every attempt to help out or make things easier I turned and twisted into "feeble attempts" that made things worse for me and let her know it in my words and mean glances.
I can't change yesterday but I can do what I should have done yesterday today.
Here is my list of what I am thankful for:
I am thankful for my family and most of all my girl, their very presence in my life is a blessing. All the support they give me day in and day out is a gift that many live without.
I am thankful for my friends and the difference their influence on me makes in my life.
I am thankful for my dogs, who show how easy loving unconditionally is.
I am thankful for all the material things I have that I take for granted.
I am thankful that there is a way for us to try and have a baby in an unconventional manner and we live in a society that has progressed enough to where we can take that avenue as a lesbian couple and not be denied that path.