I am in love with a bean.

Dear baby bean,
Today was the first day I got to see you, your heart fluttering inside your mother's womb. I am already proud of how much you have grown and how you are in the right spot. And thank you for not giving your mom too much trouble so far. That makes life easier for all of us. I wanted to tell you in advance that I am sorry you don't get a baby book. You get this blog and by the time you are old enough to think it is cool to read, this technology will be passe' for sure.

Anyway, you keep it up in there. And we will see you again in like 8 weeks at the next Dr. visit. In the mean time, we are going to go pack the house so we can move to Indiana.

Big Changes

Well we are 7 weeks along, and things seem to be progressing smoothly. This week we are very excited for our first ultrasound appointment!! We are scheduled for Thursday a day shy of our 8 week mark.

Ultrasound aside, this will be a very interesting week for us. A week for big decisions. We were supposed to go to Indiana this weekend to go house hunting. We ended up house hunting in our very big bean bag. My girl has a sensitive back and on Friday morning she got out of the car and it locked up on her... She still can not stand up straight. I feel so bad for her, as she hobbles around with a bit of a chicken strut. Given this we cancelled our trip and resolved ourselves to a weekend in.

With the inability to see the houses in person we made the decision to put a lot of faith in our realtor and shop through her. So our realtor went to the houses we have picked out along with some others she thought may be a good deal, and talked us through each house over the phone, and then at the end of the day sent us a ton of pictures for the top 3. We picked one of those and put in an offer, as of this morning the offer has been countered and we accepted it! This course of action can be seen as very adventerous or very stupid... Im going with adventerous!

We are pushing to get an inspection done this week because as of this morning a new countdown has begun... I call it the two week notice countdown. We both think it's wisest to get the results of the inspection before I put in my two weeks notice, but we also want to be sure that I will have time to repack up what we have been using for temporary living for the big move to another state. Given my pregnancy and the amount of crap we have not been good at packing for our two mini moves, I think a week and a half unemployed should give me enough time to get the job done right.

Bonus offer

It has been interesting throughout my life as I go through things, I learn more and more about my parents. You would think after growing up with them and living with them day in and day out there would be nothing new to learn .... that is so far from the truth.

What has been a real blessing with this pregnancy so far is I am getting to know things about my mom, my Grandma and MJ's mom that I wouldn't have otherwise. I had no idea my mom thought about naming me after my Grandma. I also had no idea that MJ's brother was breech and sitting on his own cord. (Neither did MJ).

I just find myself happy to get to learn these little tidbits that wouldn't have come up otherwise. It's a great opportunity. Like that scene from Angels and Demons where they let the professor into the Vatican library and you all the sudden have access to all this extra information. It's a pretty great bonus to MJ being pregnant.

H1N1 meet my arm

I spent the first couple weeks of January hemming and hawing about whether I should get the H1N1 vaccine. My work was having a clinic on January 14th and I tentatively signed up to be misted. Then I began to worry...

I talked to a friend of mine who is also pregnant and she told me not to get the mist that you have to get the injection so you don't come in contact with an active strain. I took this word as good as gold, and contacted HR to change my election to an injection.

I looked it up in my Mayo Clinic book which discussed the seasonal flu shot, the book was for it but recommended talking to your doctor, and that some doctor's don't recommend the flu shot in the first trimester.... worry worry.

So I called the fertility clinic since we haven't been passed off to an ob-gyn... They ran it by the Dr. there and gave me a go. All of that running around... and I didn't feel any more at ease.

So the 14th has came and went, and on the 14th I went to the clinic, in a last ditch effort to make sure I asked the nurse who would be doing my injection... She said she highly recommends it especially if pregnant and there shouldnt be any ill affects doing it in the first trimester; dabbed my arm with an alcohol swab and gave me the shot, bandaged me, and sent me on my way.

I have been waiting to feel a side affect to this, to which I have none, infact I feel better this week then I did the previous week.

I can't believe how much worry this one decision caused me... and this is the first of many decisions we will face as mommies.... oye.

Everything and nothing all at once

I have been at a loss for words lately trying to describe how I have been feeling. This is my forth time trying to write this blog.

Basically there is all this baby excitement. I am considering things based on how pregnant MJ will be or how old the baby will be. And I smile at the thought of a little one all the time. And I have this desire to name the "baby bean" - plus I want to talk to it. But for today ... well .. everything is the same. I mean MJ has been tired and hungry which isn't her usual m.o. but lots of people get hungry and tired. It is not like she has turned purple or grew and extra arm. So it is like this big thing is happening, but you can't see it or play with it so your brain starts to think maybe nothing has changed.

I wonder if guys feel like this. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't notice cause they are too distracted by larger breasts. ha ha ha.

Reading in preparation

In an earlier post I listed some books I had bought to prepare myself.

Well my girl and I have been reading them as we go. I thought I would have trouble keeping up as the Mayo Guide is pretty thick, but so far the weeks are broken down into little paragraphs so each week only takes a few minutes.... Leaving me wanting it to tell me more.

I think some people in my life felt this subconsciously and my wonderful Aunt in Florida is mailing me a book that she thought was a saving grace when she was expecting... which was not that long ago (my little cousins are 5 and not quite 1 I think... I could be off) so no worries about dated information!

Also, a good friend and coworker, brought me a book that will definitely prepare me for the unexpected. Some of you may or may not know this... but my largest fear is Zombies; well it turns out there is a book that can help with this. It is "The survivors guide to zombies". Who Knew! Now not only can I learn about how my body is changing and have a guide to symptoms of pregnancy, but also prepare myself to survive should there be a Zombie Outbreak.

I started reading it yesterday and the detail the author goes into is quite amazing! I really appreciate how he breaks down the zombie attributes which debunks the recent Hollywood adrenalin pumping fast moving zombies. Phew, I was worried I wouldn't be able to out run them!!!

The down side, is last night all I had was weird Zombie dreams, vivid dreams are a common symptom in early pregnancy as well as insomnia....so my Zombie reading only added fuel to the symptom fire. Needless to say I was up at 230 in the morning surfing the Internet trying to clear my head of Zombie visions.

I want to get through it as I feel it will help me deal with my fear, but I have a feeling I may have to wait until my body is more acclimated to the tons of hormones pumping and not inclined to create vivid dreams or keep me red eyed and awake in the wee hours.

Tylenol Sucks.

So my headache from Friday took a turn for the worst... it's a migraine! They really are my favorite type of headache, with the throbbing pain behind my right eye that never seems to subside. . .Truly are lovely.

I'm only supposed to take tylenol, which by the way is not headache medicine, and I try not to take it for as long as possible.... it does dull it but it just hasn't gone away.

I am thinking about trying acupuncture in the next couple days if it doesn't subside Im not sure what other alternatives I have given the limitations I have on pain medication.

Grumble grumble... I am still thankful.

I also feel as though all of my posts as of late are whiny... Sorry about that... I will try to move away from the symptoms and write about something less annoying.

It's Bananas...at 4AM!

The symptoms are in full swing. I got up the other morning at 430 in the morning because I was feeling nauseous and had a banana to hold me over until the sun came up! My breasts have grown, they are sore on some days and not so sore on others. My abdomen gets weird tinges of pain or cramps from time to time... according to the Mayo Clinic guide this is my uterus growing in preparation... YIKES!

Last night I had to sit up for a while in bed because my hot wing dinner was giving me a heartburn sensation.

At this very moment, I am wishing I had more than just a banana to eat as I'm feeling a slight light headedness and nausea. And the light headedness is turning into a bit of a headache!

The odd thing is, I feel blessed to feel them because it makes it real and makes me feel at ease that I am getting symptoms as it means things are developing.

Working out has been a challenge this week, as I get worn out so quickly and light headed if I try to push through it too much. It really is amazing how quickly your body takes a toll when pregnant!

Times 2 plus some

I love my wife. We had our second blood test today and some hormone count needed to be at least 1000. Well she hit 1500. No wonder she has been so tired. That baby is growing like crazy. And what is even better is the baby is still in there! Yay baby ... grow grow. It still hasn't sunk in yet.

So these last few days have been very hard for me. Our house is a mess because we just moved and things are in boxes. I want my wife to have a place to laydown when she is tried that doesn't smell like dog pee (we are at a friends house and their last renters ruined the carpet). I want her to be able to cook nutritious food, to have a place to sit and eat. I want to make things livable.

I know there is only so much I can do in a day, but I want to be done already. I do have to say it is nice to have windows and a backyard. We will get there. I think I just need to adjust my attitude and enjoy what we have.

Snoozy

So we went to our fertility clinic yesterday to have blood drawn, It was one of our quickest visits, my girl came with me as she wants to be part of the entire process and I love having her support. We both had to look away during the "withdrawal". They called an hour later with the results. Positive!!

I have to go in again on Wednesday to have a second round of blood drawn, they said they will use the results of the first as a base line, they are looking for the results of the second to have the hormones doubled from the first. That seems like a lot to happen in 48 hrs... This could explain why I am so tired...my body must be working overtime.

Like in my girl's last post. I am already feeling some affects... or my head is playing games with me. One is I am tired.... so tired. I usually can push through or dig deep and find some energy but the last couple days I just have to sit down. I look around our new place and I see all these boxes that need to be emptied... I start on them and not even 10 minutes later I have to sit down. Grumble grumble... how is anything going to get done!

I am hitting the gym today, Im just hoping I have energy enough to make it worth the trip!

Sleep / no sleep already?

So admittedly I have never been around a pregnant person everyday so I have NO idea what to expect. This last weekend we were moving into our new place. There was NO way I was going to let MJ do any heavy lifting. But what was amazing to me is my normally "push through to get it done girl" actually sat down here and there and took it easy. She even let me unpack some stuff while she napped. She NEVER naps ... well unless we are at my mom's house. I have seen this woman on just a few hours sleep push through the day.

I am amazed how quickly this pregnancy thing happens. One day we are reading pink lines, next day, MJ is napping and waking up a bit queasy. She is having odd pains, feeling tired, and randomly hungry for beef. I am starting to wonder things like "Can she take Tums? Can she eat honey? What if it isn't pasteurized?"

Last night MJ was having some discomfort that was keeping her up. And I found myself not being able to sleep because I was worried about her and the little budding baby.

So since I can't feel what she is feeling, my biggest concern is MJ and MJ's wellbeing. And I want to do what I can to take stress off her and let her rest when need be. She is giving our family such a gift by being willing to have a child in the first place that I want to help support her anyway I can. Plus - let's face it - I like to spoil her ;)

Take aways
1. Pregnancy symptoms like being tired show up really quickly
2. I now have an excuse to nap "To support MJ"

Did someone just hear a clock start ticking?

So if you have read MJ's post then you know we found two pink lines hiding on a stick on New Year's Eve. Here is my side of the story

So New Year's Eve before we went to my best friend's house for dinner, MJ took a pregnancy test. As I was walking in to the bathroom to look at it, I was formulating what I would say when I saw it was positive. I was thinking I would yell, or make up a story or something. Then I saw the harmless, little white stick with two pink lines and all my snarky plans flew right out the window. Instead, my eyes started to tear up and I just walked out of the bathroom slowly showing MJ the two pink lines on the stick. Then we hugged and I cried.

MJ didn't seem as excited as I had expected. I was confused why she wasn't jumping for joy. Then she admitted she thought it might be a false positive. ..... I was like "What? These things are like 99.7% accurate. Only people who poop on the sticks screw them up. " Then I had the oddest feeling. Like a giant count down clock started. A 9 month - your life is never going to be the same in the best way possible clock. I had flashes of everything I needed to get done. "Holy crap I have so much to do" I thought to myself.

As MJ proceeded to drink tea and water so she could take the test again I started thinking about all this stuff. And the whole thing didn't seem real. This is why we had been going to the Dr for months and now that it was here I was confused as to what I should be doing with myself.

The next morning, after the third happy pink stick, I started to see MJ get excited and she let me call my mom. The first person we told. After all that, I started packing boxes to move into our new place in town. How anti-climatic.

Take aways
1. No matter how planned pregnancy is, it is still a surprise
2. Joy mixed with hesitation to be too joyful seems normal
3. It is amazing how two pink lines can make you cry.

Happy New Year!

Well it's time to say good bye to 2009. It was a year packed full of events, family, vacations, and adventures. The year we tied the knot and made some big decisions... Indiana is still in the works, I see it on the horizon... And this endeavor to start a family is well on it's way.

We decided the best way to ring in the New year was to go and hang out at my girl's best friend's place and have fondue and snacks!! It was great to see her BFF, the BFF's kids and the BFF's parents. We played a couple games and headed home before the clock struck 12.... This was for two reasons we were both very tired and we didnt want to deal with drunk drivers.

Before heading over we decided to see what a pregnancy test would say, this is a day earlier than we had said we would take the test, but it was nearing the end of day 32 and curiosity got the best of us. So I peed on the stick and left it for my girl to look at(this is one of her other jobs). I busied myself in our little kitchen not wanting to think about it. My girl headed into the bathroom, then slowly emerged with tears in her eyes... she saw two lines and held it up for me to see. Two lines is positive... I couldn't believe it...

I figured it was wrong... My girl looked at me and reminded me that they are like 97% accurate... I still couldn't believe it. While getting stuff together to go over to the BFFs house, I decided to drink hot tea and a big glass of water... A few minutes before we were supposed to head over I decided to pee on a stick again... My girl checked the results... still positive.... even diluted! It started to set in and I am now officially excited. We decided not to talk about it at her friend's place but mentioned our excitement to one another in our moments alone.

I woke up Friday morning, New Years Day still not quite believing it... since the pregnancy tests come in packs of 3, I went to the bathroom and peed on the stick again.... We got 2 pretty pink lines. What a wonderful way to kick off the New Year... expecting. I owe a call in to our Dr. monday morning so a blood test and exam can be done just to confirm.

I still have my hesitations, I've read that the risk of miscarraige doesn't go down until after week 12. I have seen a friend lose a baby and the pain to go through it publicly and have to tell everyone the story of that loss. Given this we have gone back and forth about saying anything to anyone before 12 weeks just to not have to say we were expecting but aren't anymore. However, since we decided to blog as we take this journey we thought it best to continue the course.

We are pregnant but hesitant to get our hopes too high given the the fragility of it's existance in the next 8 weeks. We hope you all will keep us in your prayers as we move toward the 12 week mark.